Human Clothes Store Whatever Fuck It H&M I Guess

SALESPERSON: Hi, may I help you?
LIZZ: Yes, I'd like you to scan me in and make a 3-D print of my unclothed body. Then I'd like you to walk around the store and, like, swaddle the 3-D printed version of me in black cotton layers until it's pretty much covered. 
SALESPERSON: Yes, we can definitely do that. 
LIZZ: And don't be shy about the layering, I want to retain the basic shape of a human female, but when people look at me, I really want to just be, like, a head. 
SALESPERSON: Of course, that goes without saying. We will swaddle you in various textures until your lower non-head related quadrants pretty much disappear.
LIZZ: Perfect. 
SALESPERSON: Quick question: would you be open to adding a pop of color to the black cotton layers?
LIZZ: Like.... what? You mean gray?
SALESPERSON: I was thinking more like a nice summery yellow or light blue?
LIZZ: .... excuse me?
(MANAGER runs over)
MANAGER: My colleague was making a joke! (to Salesperson) In very poor taste, we are very familiar with your brand colors, Mz. Leiser. (to Lizz) And might I just say how lovely it is to see you, I can't believe it's time for the annual clothes swaddling! Where does the time go? (Awkward beat) While we cover your 3-D printed body's non-head parts with fabric, I have taken the liberty of laying out several other clothing items for you to angrily squint at and pinch between your thumb and forefinger while rolling your eyes at the price-tags...or perhaps you'd like your regular dressing room for a silent cry?
LIZZ: Hm, I think I'll just stand here and grind my teeth while I get more and more angry about the role my gender plays in my clothing options and the strange expectation that this ritual is something I should enjoy.
MANAGER: Of course, a classic! Would you also like to indulge in a long-form fantasy about dressing in a bulletproof suit like John Wick and being an awesome fighter with guns and cars and guns?
LIZZ: I would love that. 
MANAGER: Wonderful. And thank you again for shopping with us at "Human Clothes Store Whatever Fuck It H&M I Guess"
LIZZ: No, thank you. Thank. You.